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So, my aim in constructing my new dating profile was to keep it short and keep it simple. Just a simple bit of advice, given to me off the cuff by a colleague in an everyday conversation. Just about every TV show has in it at least one couple who are building up a relationship, who are having both fun and difficulties in doing so.

In general, they are surrounded by friends and family who are always on hand to offer them help, advice and emotional support, just when they happen to need it the most.

There are plenty of books for people already in a relationship. If the other person is on the spectrum though, they may not get flirting cues and it sometimes helps just to be direct and ask if they would like to go out on a date.

When I started to think about dating as an Aspie, two things immediately struck me.

That happens whether you are on the autistic spectrum or not. So, take a step back from yourself and let them think, let them absorb, let them take in as well. Instead, the main clues lie in observing other people. That will help us be honest with ourselves and with our partners in turn.

Best to acknowledge that and get it out of the way. I see families, couples and other singletons around me, all enjoying each other’s company. I am observing them and that is what you need to start doing with the people around about you. Hear how their voices go up in response at the end of hearing someone speak, almost as if they are asking a question in sound only? Help us by maybe doing role plays, getting us to spot signs of interest and disinterest and what to do about them.

People lose interest if you tell them too much too quickly. Always having been taken aside as a teen and a young adult and been told things like .

Well-intentioned as this might have been, its ultimate effect was to make me think I wasn’t good enough. Be yourself and don’t try to be the person that you think the wider world wants to see.

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